Why are There Difficult People in Your Life

Do you experience problems with some of your family members and have no idea why? Perhaps you have tried everything and they still just don’t like you? Or worse, they are nice to you and you can’t help but to reject them? There are explanations. As part of your learning experiences on earth, you have been reborn with past adversaries. For example they may have been rivals or people who assaulted you, or the explanation may be one of a myriad of other reasons for that indistinct feeling of revulsion.

We are all here on earth for a reason. According to Spiritism, codified by Allan Kardec, in his book The Spirits Book, we come to inhabit our physical bodies to improve ourselves, as part of our quest to become better souls, with the goal of someday becoming pure spirits and casting off our need for reincarnation. However, in the meantime, here we are. And, most amazingly, we’re here with people we have known before in a previous life. The Spirits Book tells us:

204. As we have had many existences, do our relationships extend beyond our present existence?

“It cannot be otherwise. The succession of their corporeal existences establishes among spirits a variety of relationships which date back from their former existences; and these relationships are often the cause of sympathies or antipathies which you sometimes feel towards persons whom you seem to meet for the first time.”

Hence, like the episodes of a family drama on TV, the plot lines of our own stories continue from one life to the next. As an example, in a lecture given by Geraldo Lemos Neto, he tells of the cast of characters in the book, Fifty Years Later, inspired by the spirit Emmanuel, psychographed by Francisco C. Xavier, which describes a noble Roman, his life at the time, fifty years after Christ came, and the women who vied for his affections. One woman in particular, who loved him deeply and attempted to take him from his wife, is our main subject. Geraldo tells us that in a successive life, this woman was reborn as his sister. While she was a very good and loving person, she found every woman her brother attempted to have a relationship with, was lacking, and when he did marry, she never tired of pointing out that his wife was continually inadequate. The spirit world deliberately placed her in a sibling relationship with the man she had desired throughout hundreds of years, so she could learn the value of caring for others above herself, as well as self-discipline and restraint in her emotions.

Love Triangle and Murder

Reincarnation can also play a part in our current life. In the book And Life Goes On, by the spirit Andre Luiz, psychographed by Francisco C. Xavier, a young man, Caio Serpa, murdered a rival, Tulio, to gain his first wife. While Caio’s first wife, Evelina, was dying, Caio took up a relationship with Vera. Caio married Vera soon after Evelina’s death. The spirit world worked to bring about the reunion of Caio and his victim Tulio.

As part of the plan for Tulio’s next life they wanted him to be reborn as Caio’s son, so the two could be reconciled. But they started the process very subtlety:

“Tulio was taken to Vera one night when Serpa wasn’t home so that he could get to know a bit about the woman who would receive him in her arms as a mother.

As he watched her sewing in her Vila Mariana home, Tulio immediately felt drawn to her. He noticed her gentle face, the serene eyes of someone who had suffered much, and her skillful hands at work. Enchanted, he took in the peaceful atmosphere.”

Notice, they did not reveal who would be the father to Tulio. The spirit world works to free everyone from the petty hatreds and crimes of passions. Realizing this, the following Bible verse comes to mind and is now much clearer in its meaning:

“But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. Give to everyone who begs from you, and from one who takes away your goods do not demand them back. And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.” [Luke 6:27-36]

That Biblical text makes much more sense now, doesn’t it, for in the awareness of reincarnation, we understand the long term plan. In our quest for moral perfection, we must shed our thirst for revenge, let go of our targeted hatred and be calm in the knowledge that when a person does a wrong, the all-powerful natural laws of God will enable that person to recover their moral debts and eventually better themselves. It is not up to us to be the judge. It is up to us to be reconciled with and compassionate toward those who didn’t know any better when they committed their wrongs.

Getting back to the story from “Life Goes On”, the spirit helper then implanted the idea of motherhood into Vera, who reacts positively to this suggestion:

“How I would love to have a son!” she thought, “How I long to be a mother!” She was awaiting this blessing from the Almighty; he surely wouldn’t forget her! … Moreover, fully aware that her husband desired an heir for the future, in her daydream she intentionally prayed to God for a boy!”

Taking care of both sides of the equation, the plan for Tulio’s rebirth is complete. The beginning of a new life would heal the old wounds and the circle of karma will start to turn. The expected outcome of the placement of the victim into the perpetrator’s house was explained as follows:

“Based on the truth of what they had been promised, Tulio would reincarnate with Caio Serpa as his father, totally magnetized by his mother’s devotion, so that he could be around his former adversary once again and transform resentment into love by means of the therapy of forgetfulness.”

Will the father-son relationship be easy? Probably not, since deep down in his own instincts, Tulio will feel a tinge of resentment toward his father. This will have to be solved by the both of them, mainly by Caio, since he is the father and the guide for his son.

A Crime for Money

Some relationships that are carried over from previous existences can be very complicated. However, the spirit world always delivers justice, as you shall see. In the book In the Greater World, by the spirit Andre Luiz, psychographed by Francisco C. Xavier, there is a man named Fabricio who betrayed his father’s last wishes and stole the entire inheritance from his brothers, leaving them penniless. On his deathbed, we view the following scene, where Fabricio calls for his grandson, little Fabricio:

“My little Fabricio, I want you to pray for me when I die.”

The boy didn’t hesitate.

He knelt down right there and reverently said the Lord’s Prayer.

When the prayer ended, the sick man asked with moist eyes:

“Dear child, don’t forget to pray for me when I die.”

The boy, now standing, hugged his grandfather and replied, weeping discreetly:

“You’re not going to die!”

Appearing relieved, the old man responded to the affectionate gesture, gazed at his grandson and asked with a strange brilliance in his eyes:

“Little Fabricio, do you believe that God forgives sinners like me?”

The tearful and confused boy answered:

“Grandpa, I believe that God forgives all of us.”

Displaying the anxieties that populated his soul, he asked further:

“Even a man who betrays his father’s trust and steals from his brothers?”

The grandson hesitated, incapable of understanding the full extent of that intentional question. But wishing to please the patient any way he could, he uttered with complete childlike simplicity;

“I think God always forgives.”

“That’s what I wanted to know,” stressed the elderly man, more relieved.

Here is a man, a criminal, who lived out a long life in luxury, surrounded by a loving family. Who wouldn’t think he had escaped all punishment and that his brothers and father were a few of many in a long line of unavenged victims.

He would not escape expiation and the wronged parties would get their repayments. For little Fabricio is actually the reincarnated spirit of his grandfather’s father, as the book explains:

“The boy is Fabricio’s former father. He has returned to the family of his criminal son through the blessed gates of reincarnation. He is his only grandson, and later he will assume control of the material inheritance of the family – the property that was his in the first place. The Law never sleeps.”

Not only would the money revert to its rightful owner, but the older Fabricio would have to go through his own trials even after death, as is explained:

“With the residues of his criminal actions in his mind, right after abandoning his physiological domicile, our sick friend will experience the results of his failure for a long time. This will continue up to the point where suffering will finally remove the malignant elements that poison his soul.”

As demonstrated, no one goes unpunished. Perhaps at some future date, the elder Fabricio may be reincarnated back into his family, or they may leave him behind, advancing spiritually while Fabricio remains mired in his materialistic desires.

Try to Come to an Understanding

The combinations and permutations of concurrent and related lives of intersecting people, over eons, are endless. Exactly what kind of preceding relationships we shared with the current members of our extended families is unknown to us, but this much is certain, over the eons of time that we have been perfecting ourselves, we have built up a large reservoir of loved ones. This include people that we naturally gravitate toward, precisely according to the Law of Affinity, by which those of the same level of goodness and understanding are drawn together.

For the vast majority of us, these allies are more numerous than our adversaries. Therefore, seek out your estranged relations and attempt to come to an agreement or understanding with them, and let there be eternal peace between you, because it is for this reason that person was chosen to be in your circle. Failing to do so may require you to endure the same antipathy again in the next life.

Remember, you have friends here on earth, living beside you, as they have done lifetimes before. You also have friends who have moved on but are still watching over you and are interested in your advancement. As The Spirits Book says:

488. Have the relatives and friends who have gone before us into the other life more sympathy for us than spirits who are strangers to us?

“Undoubtedly they have; and they often protect you as spirits, according to their power.”

Are they sensible of the affection we preserve for them?

“Very sensible; but they forget those who forget them.”

Let the help you are given percolate through your soul to give you strength during times of frustration with others. Know always that if you ask for the power to forgive, it will be granted.

Read and learn more about reincarnation and Spiritism - read The Case for Reincarnation - Your Path to Perfection.